Of procrastination and astrology

I credit JR's roommate Ben with one of my favorite quotes, "Procrastination is a lot like masturbation, because in the end you're only fuc*ing yourself."

I am an absolute master at procrastination. I can focus on a task for thirty minutes, tops, before

I find something else that can successfully distract me. It seems like I have been packing for my move for, oh, forever now. I've also concluded that I will have to take a day off from work this week to finish. Oh well.

I actually made significant progress on the packing front today, so I'm not going to totally berate myself. Yet...if I procrastinated less over the last few weekends, I could actually be done. Que sera sera.

Over the last month, I started reading my horoscope online. I don't know why; maybe because it shows up on Google and that's my home page. And although Chris said that you can interpret it to fit anything, it seems as though they have been eerily accurate as of late. Nothing like knowing what your day has in store by reading a few vague lines each morning.

Friday was a bizarre day for me...it's kept me thinking, more than I should. I suppose that is how you react to something completely unexpected happening. Just the same, most of me knows that it's not worth ruminating about. Not everything has actual meaning behind it - sometimes it's all just about a few bottles of wine and some good conversation.

The weekend was quiet - good times with family, and way too much packing. I can't believe tomorrow is Monday already...where does the time off go?

But yeah, my head is full of random odds and ends. It's impossible to quiet my head when so much is going on. But I need to tell myself to quiet the thoughts I don't need to think about. I need to not focus on what isn't going to happen, but rather on what is happening.

Here's to another interesting week...

What we call managing expectations...

One of my all-time favorite movies is "Say Anything". In this movie, John Cusack has many great lines, but one in particular that often sums up life.

"You probably got it all figured out, Corey. If you start out depressed everything's kind of a pleasant surprise"

I try not to be cynical, to be more of an optimist. But how do you decide what you should truly have faith in, and who you can actually believe in?

The shortfallings of blind faith come in letting someone make everything seem better, knowing that s/he can just as quickly take all of it away. Part of you (maybe even most of you) knows how much pain that certain person can cause you, but just the same, the little moments always seem to count - maybe even more than they should.

Managing expectations - learning not to expect anything from people, and allowing yourself to be surprised. Always better than expecting people to rise above your expectations, and being disappointed.

Dear Creepy Morning Makeout Couple

On the rare days that my train is on time, I arrive in Penn Station at 8:23 a.m. Regardless, I am generally there by 9 a.m. I also should point out that I sleep on the train, so I'm not all that alert when I am getting off the train. Until my Starbucks is in hand, I'm in my own world, surrounded by whatever music is playing on my iPod.

I recently noticed this couple that takes the same train as me. I don't think they sit in the same car that I do, but then again, I sleep. Aside from the guy who sits next to me, gross snoring man who sits behind us, and the lady I refer to as "Spanish Si Lady" (she speaks Spanish on her cell phone, yet all you ever hear is very loud "Si! Si!"), I couldn't tell you who ten people in my train car are.

Anyhow, this couple gets off the train and stands to the side of the stairs on the platform and they literally swallow each other. This isn't a sweet kiss goodbye; it's straight up "let's get it on". They have their hands seriously all over each other, and this morning, he smacked her on the ass.

Does anyone really need to see this at 8:30 in the morning? What do they do on the train? I'm actually curious. The only reasonable explanation I have is that they're having an affair.

Otherwise, I just don't get it.

It's pretty gross, though.

Rainy Days and Mondays

...always get me down.

I'm so tired from the weekend, even more tired than when I legitimately go out. It's dark, rainy, and cold outside, the kind of weather where you would rather stay curled up in bed watching reruns of "Dawson's Creek" on television.

I sent in the application for my new apartment today - I'm so excited. I can't wait to spend the entire summer on the beach...provided the weather doesn't stay like this. Sweaters in June = wrong.

Brad's fiancee just sent me a link to their wedding website - I'm glad that this is happening a good two and a half years after I moved back to NY. Time sometimes makes all the difference in the world.

A Tribute to a Hero

Another person has died in Iraq.

His name is Matt Baylis, he was days from his 21st birthday, and he used to live two doors away from me. While I never knew him well, he was the younger brother of one of my brother's close friends. My brother saw him grow up, join the military, and go on to serve in Iraq.

My dad once told me that one of the hardest things about growing up is accepting that you will know more people who will pass away. The unfortunate fact is that while this is true, I find myself knowing a disproportionate number of people who die in senseless and tragic ways, rather than naturally.

Matt Baylis will be another name in the list of over 3,400 soldiers that have died in Iraq. When I was taking my quasi-grad classes, a professor used to post the list (I believe from the NY Times) of military people that lost their lives in Iraq. The visual effect was shocking.

Every day, we read another article proclaiming that nine people died in Iraq, five people were in a helicopter crash - people become statistics. We forget that these are individual people, who left behind families and friends, to serve as heroes and protect our safety. In today's world, we forget who heroes really are.

We just celebrated Memorial Day, which most of us view as another three day weekend. I spent it with one of my closest friends, whose husband passed away in a tragic helicopter crash just a few years ago. I read an article the other day, which reminded me that Memorial Day shouldn't be just one day - it isn't just a three day weekend, or a day for big sales. We need to better honor those who put their lives on the line for us, like Matt Baylis, for our freedom and well-being.

He was a true hero, and will always be remembered. Rest in peace, Matt.

And a forever tribute to another true hero, Lt. Pete Ober, who I miss more every single day.