You Can't Always Get What You Want

In my last apartment, where I lived for two years, I could not control the temperature. It was reminiscent of dorm life, except it was significantly more costly, I didn't have a white board on my door and I didn't have 25 types of cereal at my disposal. I swore up and down that once I could spend my night somewhere that wasn't either 54 or 96 degrees that I would be content.

I stumbled upon the proverbial pot of gold when I found my current apartment on Craigslist. For once in my life, I can say the downturn of the economy benefited me, as the apartment would have been out of my price range a few months prior. Due to my previous living situation, I was ready to sign the lease once I saw that the apartment had a thermostat. Central air and heat? Unheard of in New York. In addition, the apartment has brand-new stainless steel appliances (including a dishwasher!), a washer and dryer and a Jacuzzi tub.

I've been pretty damn happy.

When I lived in Long Beach, parking could be somewhat torturous during the summer. After all, I lived across the street from the beach. And the beach I lived across from was not just any beach, but the one that the 1,000+ participant volleyball league took place at four days per week between Memorial Day and Labor Day. If you got home after 7, you would be (at best) relegated to a sand lot where you would be ticketed if you forgot to move your car by midnight. I also got my car stuck in the sand once or twice. The good part about Long Beach was, if you didn't move your car, you could keep that spot forever. This is not the case in Queens.

When searching for the perfect image for this post, I stumbled upon one on the same topic, as this person so cleverly calls it, "the alternate side parking shuffle." I will continue to borrow from this person's post, as her description hits the nail right on the head - "The shuffle is a daily event that spans about an hour and half on streets all across the city. The idea is that cars vacate one side of the street, allowing the street cleaner to come through. It’s also a municipal money making machine. Every person I know who has a car gets more than a handful of street-cleaning tickets a year."

I will start by saying that I am devoted to never getting a $40+ ticket for having my car on the wrong side of the street. I have post-it notes that I alternate on the inside of my door that read "move car at night" and "move car in morning." I use my BlackBerry to remind myself *exactly* where my car is and when it has to be moved, just in case I forget. After two months, I was starting to think that I had the system figured out. In other words: moving your car at night is usually easier than moving your car in the morning. Avoid streets that have many driveways. As I said, I felt like I was beginning to master the system.

Then last night happened.

It took 35 minutes to find a parking spot. My car might as well be parked in Beijing.

While hiking back from my parking spot, I passed one of the many deli-bodega-corner stores in my neighborhood and invested a dollar in the lottery. Tonight, I will win Mega Millions and the first thing I will buy is a parking spot. Because that, is all it will take for me to be happy now.

Freedom Isn't Free

In July of 2003, 27-year-old Lt. Pete Ober died in a helicopter crash, proudly serving in the United States Navy. Since the war began, 4,332 American soldiers have been mortally wounded in Iraq. Pfc. Matthew E. Baylis was killed just days before his 21st birthday in Baghdad, supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom, in May of 2007. Between July 25 and August 7, 2009, nine U.S. Army soldiers, five Marines and one U.S. Navy sailor were killed in Afghanistan. One of them was 29-year-old Capt. Matthew Freeman - he had been married just weeks before he deployed.

All three of these men dreamed their entire lives of serving their country and made the ultimate sacrifice by giving their lives for our freedom. All three of these soldiers were sons and brothers; two were husbands of my close friends and one was the proud father of a little girl.

I am so proud of the brave men and women who serve our country, yet I ache for the mothers, fathers, husbands, wives and children who have to say goodbye to their loved ones. I admire their selflessness - I could not imagine how hard it is to let someone go, knowing he is putting himself directly in harm's way.

I am at a loss as to how to convey my emotions in this post - I have so much pride and gratitute for those who are giving up everything to serve in the military. Yet I feel so much pain knowing that these families (and the entire world) have lost some of the finest people who will ever walk this Earth.

During Matt's memorial service, one eulogizer rightly said, "The world needs more Matthew Freemans."

And the world does. It needs more Matthew Freemans, more Pete Obers and more Matt Baylises.

Please remember our honorable servicemen and women - and their families, who are braver than we could ever imagine.

Freedom isn't free.

If you have the ability to make a contribution in their memory and honor:

Pete Ober:

Peter Benjamin Ober Memorial Fund

c/o Citadel Foundation

171 Moultrie Street

Charleston, South Carolina 29401

Matt Baylis:

Contributions in his memory to Wounded Warriors (http://www.woundedwarriors.org/), AER (http://www.aerhg.org/) or USO (http://www.uso.org/) are appreciated.

Matt Freeman:

Captain Matthew Freeman Memorial Scholarship

Bryan Bank

PO Box 1299

Richmond Hill, GA 31324

great expectations

Tom: What happens when you fall in love?
Summer: You believe in that?
Tom: It's love, it's not Santa Claus.
- "500 Days of Summer"

For someone who doesn't often see movies while they are actually in the theater, it is out of the ordinary for me to have seen three movies in roughly three weeks. On Saturday I saw one of the best movies I have seen in a long time - "500 Days of Summer."

The movie begins with some dialogue explaining that, yes, this is a story of boy meets girl, but there is one thing it is not.

And that is a love story.

This is where I beg to differ.

It is, indeed, a love story. But it's not the kind of love story that you usually see in the movies. It wasn't predictable - it made me happy; it made me sad. I felt optimistic and remembered exactly what feels great about being in love. I felt frustrated when I remembered what it feels like to lose that.

Here's your plot - Tom is the guy that every girl wants to meet (or so I think). He is creative, artistic, listens to Brit-pop and wants to find his soulmate. On a chance encounter in his office, he meets Summer, who he immediately falls in love with. Summer insists that she doesn't believe in love, doesn't believe in relationships - they're messy and she hates labels. As the story progresses, you see what looks to be a happy couple, from one side. From the other side, you see what really exists - a person who is too afraid to commit because she can't acknowledge that she's not truly happy. Instead, she hides behind excuses.

I don't want to give away the movie, which is what makes writing this particular post so difficult. The happy moments that Tom and Summer share in the movie remind me of what I am looking for ... or at least what I hope is out there. The sad moments remind me that, well, people can and will break your heart.

But in the end, it's all worth it, isn't it?